Summary
We all have three circles of influence: full control over ourselves, partial influence on those around us, and no control over external events. Most people waste energy on things they can’t change, like politics or trying to "educate" others. To truly make a difference, focus on improving yourself. When you take responsibility for your actions, habits, and mindset, you inspire those around you and create a better reality for yourself and others.
To maximize personal influence, start by focusing on self-improvement. Most people waste energy trying to change things they can’t control, but the real power lies in what you can do for yourself. By investing in your own growth, habits, and mindset, you can maximize personal influence and inspire those around you. When you take charge of your actions, others will notice and draw inspiration. Remember, the best way to truly maximize personal influence is to lead by example.
Each of us has three circles of influence.
The first circle – where you have 100% control.
Complete influence—what you want is what happens.
There’s only one person in this circle—you!
Contrary to popular belief, you do not (and never will) have complete control over others—not your children (even when they’re very young), not your partner, not your employees, and not your family.
These people belong to the second circle of influence – where you have only partial influence (whether it’s big or small).
You can “nag” your kids to change their behavior,
you can “hammer” your business goals into your employees all day,
you can have endless conversations with family members,
but at the end of the day—whether it affects and changes others’ behavior
doesn’t depend on you; it depends on them!
You only have partial influence (and usually far less than you think).
The third circle of influence is where you have no control—0%.
Will Israel strike in Lebanon/Iran/Rafah?
Will there be a hostage deal?
Will Netanyahu take responsibility for October 7th?
Will the Governor of the Bank of Israel raise or lower interest rates?
Will housing prices rise this year?
Will there be elections in Israel in 2024?
You have no influence over these decisions.
Forgive me, but no matter how many protests, rallies, roadblocks, or heated Twitter and Facebook debates you engage in, or petitions you sign, you don’t truly affect the geopolitical reality on a strategic level.
It might feel like you’re influencing things—a sort of “busywork”—but it has no real impact on the ground.
So, there are three circles of influence.
Now the question is—where are you investing more of your time and energy?
Decades of research show that most people spend the majority of their energy
in the third circle of influence (where they have no real impact!).
Think about how much time and energy you spend on political arguments (without ever convincing the other side),
in conversations and complaints about the situation (without having any practical influence on it),
watching the news and getting frustrated (without affecting what’s said there), and so on.
The rest of your energy, according to these studies, is spent in the second circle of influence—
your immediate surroundings that still “count” you, know you, and listen to you.
Think about how much time and energy you spend “educating” others (without much impact),
repeating your arguments in endless loops of fights, anger, and debates
(that never really progress and just repeat themselves for months or years!),
trying to change others’ habits (to leave their partner,
to study a degree you think is right, to invest more in their work, etc.).
And only if there’s a little left—do people invest in themselves…
In fact, to truly improve your life—and indirectly those around you—
the order should be reversed!
To change and improve your life,
to create your own reality,
to advance yourself professionally and your business,
to undergo real personal development—
you need to focus on yourself!
Take responsibility for your actions and habits,
strive to constantly improve as a person, parent, partner, and professional,
stay optimistic, maintain a positive mindset, and carry good energy,
read books, seek advice, listen to empowering podcasts, and more.
If each person strives to be better,
our society will improve.
If everyone strives to be wealthier and more successful,
the economy will grow, and our national resilience will strengthen.
If we all strive to be more positive and optimistic,
(even when the reality is harsh and the media poisons and depresses us),
we can turn the current crisis into an opportunity.
So, stop trying to “educate” others—focus on educating yourself.
Stop complaining in front of the TV or your friends, and shift to positive, constructive conversations.
Stop avoiding activities and “sitting on the fence” in decision-making,
and take proactive steps—get out of the house to refresh, exercise often,
meet friends, spend money (yes, it’s important to keep the economy moving), initiate business activities, and more.
It’s up to you. Only you.
Not the government, not the IDF, not Hamas, not Hezbollah, not The Hague, not the Bank of Israel.
Only you can create a different reality for yourself.
Only when you influence yourself can you influence others.
Because they will simply see you as positive, energetic, optimistic, successful, healthy, and active—
and they will draw inspiration from you!
Take responsibility, be proactive,
and work to make 2024 a much better year than 2023.
This is also part of the fight, and it’s your contribution to the overall effort—
a fight for sanity, for the country, for society, and for your economic situation and ours.
What do you think? Is it all up to you?
Agree with what I’ve written?
Feel free to respond and share your thoughts—
you can email me at yaniv@yanivzaid.com
or send me a WhatsApp message at +972-54-8001200.
I promise to respond to everyone.
Yours, with love,
Dr. Yaniv Zaid
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